Well, things are going pretty well right now. I’ve got a job interview set up for next week. That’s pretty awesome. I was hoping to get an internship or part time job sometime this semester to boost my resume when I graduate (and also because it would be nice to have a little money saved up before I graduate). There’s also a job fair next week if that job falls through. I need to update my print resume and maybe get some business cards. Though business cards may be out of my price range at the moment.
I’m going home this weekend. Got to get things ready to go! Clean the fish tanks, pack everything that’s going home, pack my clothes, clean stuff, etc. Lot of stuff to do and I am feeling rather lazy at the moment. I think the cold weather is affecting me like a reptile.
Classes are going well. RTV is so boring. I don’t understand how those communications majors get so into it and worked up about it. Weekly quizzes with questions right out of the book. Astronomy is everything I learned in Middle School and High School, just forgotten. His quiz questions are a little harder, sort of like trick questions that you wouldn’t get if you didn’t read the book. Project 2 is Rob’s website. I’ve already made a layout and started on logos and some of the simple text/HTML pages. The only thing slowing me down is that we don’t have the hosting set up yet, cause GoDaddy has the domain. So I can’t test or upload anything I’ve worked on. Inter. Enter. is prolly the class with the most actual work. Weekly essays and a website. Doesn’t seem like much, but I have to come up with concepts that integrate Alice in Wonderland into a theme park, playground, video game, sports complex, family center, museum and a few others. That’s what’s going to take up the most time and energy.
I’m going to MegaCon in Feb. I hope it’s fun. I’m going mainly to dress up and mingle. I want to wear some gothic lolita and kimono. Hopefully it will be cool enough to wear the kimono. Kevin Sorbo is going to be there. I want to see how he stacks up next to Lou Ferrigno cause that guy is huge. Also some people from Farscape and Sam from LoTR. I don’t know if Kelse wants me to get any autographs for her. We’ll just see. 
Rob has only known me on the happy pills. And since we started dating, he has told me that he doesn’t really like the idea of taking pills. More of his choice, not pressuring me. But I decided that it had been a while, so maybe my coping skills had changed, that maybe I grew a little. However, I worried what Rob would think of me off of them, since he’s only known me on them. About 5 months since I stopped taking them I realize that I haven’t really changed. I’m still the panicky piece of shit person I was before the pills. Driving is starting to scare me more. I worry about everything. I hate thinking about my future because it looks so bleak. And today Rob said that maybe it was a good idea for me to go back on the pills. I knew it. I knew he wouldn’t like the person I really am. (I know he really said it because he sees what I’m going though and he loves me and wants the best for me. It just makes me feel like crap. Like, I’m not the person he hoped I could be.) But I can’t help it that this is the damn chemical composition my parents gave me. I’ll always be like this, no matter what idiotic coping skills my dad suggests. Writing doesn’t help, it just gets me worked up more. Talking is impossible, I have never been able to talk about my emotions or problems. Breathing deeply only works for a little while. All those stupid coping skills are tools to make you stop thinking about your problems, nothing more. They don’t change anything, they just make it fall father into the murk. I have taken to watching a lot of TV. TV stills a restless mind. It sort of helps me forget all the crap that is human culture. I just laugh at the moving pictures and lower my blood pressure and heart rate.
I hate humans so much. Yesterday there was a huge HUGE flock of Robins and other migrating birds in the complex. I was watching them crawl all over the tree outside my room, eating the berries. They were so pretty, big red breasted birds and little birds with yellow crests. And then the maintenance guy came over in his golf cart, circled the tree, scared off all the birds and moved onto another tree. Within 5 minutes all the birds were gone. And why? Because of a human mentality. “These birds are going to shit all over everything.” or “They’re eating the berries on the tree. That’s going to lessen the aesthetic value of the tree.” I could have sat there for an hour watching them.
In other news, my roomates are still eating my food. Pisses me off. I’m going to move all my food out of the cabinets and into either my room or my china cabinet. I understand girls less than boys. I hate boys more though. And yet I have my boy friends than girl friends. I guess I just hate people in general.
I went to the Orlando Museum of Art. I was correct in thinking that Orlando is culturally pathetic. It was a tiny museum with crap exhibits. I had to go there for a class, for research in designing a museum space. But I feel it was a waste of money and time. I liked the Inca exhibit they had, but there was so little information. No explanation on the objects, just what it was called, what it was made out of, it’s date and who donated it. Nothing on why it was made, any anthropological information, nothing. Pissed me off. I really don’t want to live in Orlando in the future. I would like to go live back in St. Pete. But there are other reasons I don’t want to move back.
PS: If my parents read this, don’t freak out. This whole shit was stream of conscious thought. It doesn’t really have any meaning other that I didn’t have a very good day today.
Apparently I speak in an archaic form of English. I use words like card, gams, cattywampus, fellow and the like. I’ll say something that I think is normal, and people around me will go “Whaa?” or they just burst out laughing. Makes me feel a little special.
Anyway, classes are getting underway. I have two quizzes this week, one in RTV and one in Astronomy. I also have to turn in a contract for Proj 2 where I’ll be re-designing Rob’s website. He wants a Flash based website. Hopefully I can make it work. Then there are weekly essays in Interactive Entertainment, but they’re not to trying. I had trouble with one of the articles on this past essay, I just couldn’t understand what they were talking about. But Rob explained it to me and I finished the essay. I think the only issue I’ll have in Inter. Enter. is that she has us do a lot of group class activities. I hate group work so much! Oh well
Right now I’m sitting in Inter. Enter. waiting for the class to start. I bought some food on campus, so I’m also eating my chocochip muffin and chocolate milk. Yummy!
I’m debating whether to do a artist’s booth at MetroCon this year or not. I would like to focus more on hand-made items such as bloomers, headdresses, bloody face masks, and a few other things. But I dunno if it is possible to do all that sewing between then and now. If we start sewing like one or two things a week, then we will be set. I dunno, I suppose I need to talk more to Mom about it.
