I keep having these mini irrational panic attacks. Like in the car when we were looking at houses and I started to feel like I was hyperventilating. Or just about every morning this week when I’ve woken up at 5 AM and can’t stop thinking. My heart starts to go really fast and I just can’t stop thinking about bad things. Like, what if the people selling us the house are con artists and are just going to take the security deposit and run? Or that I re-live every embarrassing moment I’ve ever had in my life, as if I were right there. Or how are we going to move all that furniture to the new house? I know there is no reason for all of this. Rob called the house guy, and the girl with the paperwork was in Miami. So I’m sure everything is ok, I’m just freaking out. My IBS is back with a vengeance, I wake up and have massive stomach cramps. It’s worse than it ever was in middle school. (This is prolly more because of my diet than stress though.)
Now, I know my dad is going to email me and tell me he knows some techniques to help me. He always does this because he loves me. But I already know the techniques. I use them. I just have irrational anxiety that affects me physically. I know that I should go on the happy pills because they’ll help me. The happy pills I was previously on pretty much eliminated my IBS. But I don’t really want to go back on the happy pills. It feels like no one likes the undedicated me. Rob is starting to get to know me undedicated. I applaud him for trying to understand and still love the crazy that I have become. I don’t have many friends either. I hate just about every female that I have encountered since coming to college. The ones I do like I barely know, so they’re not really friends, just nice people I like to be around. I have guy friends, and they’re nice. But they’re guys, so there are discussions I can’t exactly have with them. Rob’s really my best friend. I worry that putting that pressure on him isn’t that great.
Throughout all of this Rob is really great. I am a hard, cruel woman and he softens my edges. He knows what I mean when I say something the wrong way or a little too blunt. I just hope my crazy doesn’t scare him away.
I’m so excited! We signed the paperwork for the house on Sunday. We’ll get the keys the 15th of June and start moving things in. 
After we signed the papers, we went by the house to giggle like little girls at our new place. I took some pictures: the front, the back, a view of our backyard and Rob acting silly. Me and Rob’s room is on the first floor, the two big windows right in front. I’ll get some pictures from inside when we get the keys. We’ve started making lists of what we need to get and what we have. I’d like to be as completely moved in as possible by the middle of July, but if Mom needs more time to buy new furniture, that’s ok. I’m so excited I do a little dance whenever I talk about it.
Works going a little slow, the ASP guy is on vacation, so we’re kinda at a stand still. Not to mention I had to wipe my computer and now have to re-install everything. I’m slowly adding programs and files back to my computer. It’s really annoying to have to change all your settings, reinstall programs and download files twice after reformatting the computer. I’m so afraid that we didn’t get the problem and that it will come back. I’m keeping my fingers crossed!
Rob’s birthday is this Friday! Maybe I’ll make him cake or a nice dinner. And lots of kisses! :heart:
So I had to reformat my computer yesterday. It started Monday when Photoshop said it wouldn’t work anymore. I went to uninstall it and the “Change/Remove” buttons went missing from Add & Remove Programs. It seems that my computer lost the registry keys to uninstall the programs on my computer. It also had a lot of weird programs in there. So, I talked (or rather, Rob talked) to an online technician and we did a System Restore. Then it didn’t recognize some of the programs that were still installed, like AIM and Dreamweaver. Then the fonts got all messed up. And then I started crying. I backed everything up on my external HD. Talked to another technician and they suggested to do another System Restore. We did a Destructive System Restore. Most of my files are fine, and I’m in the process of re-installing all my programs. Should be back to full speed in another day.
I didn’t get my teeth out this past weekend. I had a sinus infection, sore throat and pink eye. That all adds up to no surgery. We’ve re-scheduled for June. I really need to get my teeth out! 
And we’re getting a house! It’s brand new, everything’s under warranty and it has woods in the back. We have to get a washer/dryer and lawnmower, but that shouldn’t be too hard. We also need to figure out when and how I’m getting my furniture from home. I’m taking my bed but leaving the mattress, Rob’s got some nice mattresses at his house. If there’s any extraneous furniture that my parent’s don’t need, I’ll may take that. I’m so excited about getting a house!
