Today started with suck. I woke up depressed and didn’t get out of that funk for a while. My mom called and I sort of broke down about not having a job and my parent’s health insurance running out on me. She said I need to make a pest of myself, emailing the HR department directly about a week after filling out an online application. I’m just not good at that. I think I should be able to get a job on my merits rather than being the person who badgers them to give me a job. But, usually the people who go after things get what they want. I guess I’m not ambitious enough.
I took a look at my kimono collection and my gothic lolita clothes to see what I’d be willing to part with. There’s two, maybe three, kimono and one dress that could I bear selling. The kimono won’t sell for very much, but I could get a nice sum for the dress. If it comes to it, I can sell more valuable parts of my collection. Luckily kimono and lolita clothes don’t loose much value on the resale market.
Anyway, I’ve got to find something for my mom for both Mother’s day and her birthday. I have no clue what to get her. I think I’m going to check out Etsy because there’s always artsy and funky stuff there. Of course that doesn’t necessarily narrow it down, but it’s a start.
I’ve also updated Eelpoutart with a new-ish layout and some new items. I used me some PHP in that there navigation. I think I really need to sit my butt down and learn PHP. I learned CSS and HTML all by myself, so why not PHP as well?
Why do all the jobs look for someone who’s: high spirited, a team player, energetic, positive, enthusiastic, outgoing, etc. To me that just says hyper with a maybe hint of irresponsibility. Why aren’t they looking for someone who’s: diligent, punctual, serious, independent, reliable, dedicated or thorough? Another thing I really hate are those online questionnaires you have to take for some applications. It seems like everything is against those of us that are shy or reserved. Sure I may not talk very much on the job, but you see that huge stack of stuff to stock? I’ll get that done faster than you can even think. Hell, I’ll probably do it in half the time as the cute bubbly sweet girl you have working with me.
I have no problem working with people or dealing with clients. I am a very polite person who can be outgoing and very charming when I need to be. But no one can expect me to be like that all of the time.
My personality is ITNJ. I am a diligent worker. I am also extremely introverted and very intelligent. I often come off as cold to people I don’t know, when in actuality my close friends and family say I am a nice and warm person. I get the short end of the stick for personality types; I am very smart but have a hard time with relationships, so I’m often the odd one out.
Why is it so hard for me to find work when I so want to work? 
I’ve made it a goal to apply to at least 3 places a day until someone finally contacts me back. It’s really hard when I know I can do the job, but I have a feeling I just won’t get it because someone who’s more extroverted will get it.
Oh, and my birthday’s coming up on May 1st! I’m going to be 23! 
I don’t have any plans, but birthdays were never really big with me. I’ll be happy with some cake and a nice dinner. I think I’ll be actually getting two cakes this year: one from my grandparents this weekend and one I buy for myself on my birthday. 
I’ve always wanted a surprise party but never had enough, or close enough, friends that would do it for me.
So, today started off a little rocky. Rob got home around 7am, and I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I got up. Then Rob decided he couldn’t get back to sleep, so he got up too. I then played FFXII for about an hour until he fell asleep on the couch. I spent the next few hours farting around on the internet in my room because I didn’t want to disturb his sleep.
When he woke up he asked if I still wanted to go to the club. I said probably not, since Sasha isn’t going and I wouldn’t really know what to do. I don’t dance or listen to current popular music. It’s also a “regular” club, and whatever I wear wouldn’t be trendy or cute enough, since I don’t have that sort of wardrobe. If I were to go to a goth or alternative club I could wear whatever I wanted, as long as it wasn’t jeans, and I’d be fine. Then I started to feel bad because that’s the second time this week I’ve let Rob down. I started to cry and he tried to help me feel better. He says he just wants to get out of the house and do things with me. He also wants me to get some physical activity to get rid of my frustration and anger. I also think that the house starts to drive him crazy. I’ve always been a loner and a homebody, so only after being in the house for an extended period of time will make me crazy. Really, large groups of people make me more crazy than anything else. So, after a bit of crying and feeling pathetic we came up with a compromise. We decided to go to a local game place this afternoon with one of our roommates.
It was kinda nice because girls play free there from Mon-Thurs. So, I got to try out some different games than what I usually play at home. I got to play Cooking Mama on the Wii and Portal on a computer. Cooking Mama was really easy and cute too! Portal crashed in the middle of my game, so I kinda gave up. There is also a sort of laser tag there. They describe it as an inside infrared combat sport. Rob played it and was the first to die. He says it was because he was on a newbie team and there was friendly fire on. If I was going to play the laser tag, I’d want to play with a group of our friends, so that everyone is on an even level.
Well, I fixed my grandpa’s computer yesterday. I’m not sure what exactly was wrong with it, but reinstalling a program fixed it. The cooling fan on my computer is starting to make weird noises. I recently re-arranged my desk and I don’t think the ventilation is as good as it used to be. Also, my electric toothbrush was acting broken until today when Rob whacked it against the sink and it started to work again. Going home tomorrow. Hopefully things will be ok there. It’s usually stressful when I go home…
