So, today started off a little rocky. Rob got home around 7am, and I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I got up. Then Rob decided he couldn’t get back to sleep, so he got up too. I then played FFXII for about an hour until he fell asleep on the couch. I spent the next few hours farting around on the internet in my room because I didn’t want to disturb his sleep.
When he woke up he asked if I still wanted to go to the club. I said probably not, since Sasha isn’t going and I wouldn’t really know what to do. I don’t dance or listen to current popular music. It’s also a “regular” club, and whatever I wear wouldn’t be trendy or cute enough, since I don’t have that sort of wardrobe. If I were to go to a goth or alternative club I could wear whatever I wanted, as long as it wasn’t jeans, and I’d be fine. Then I started to feel bad because that’s the second time this week I’ve let Rob down. I started to cry and he tried to help me feel better. He says he just wants to get out of the house and do things with me. He also wants me to get some physical activity to get rid of my frustration and anger. I also think that the house starts to drive him crazy. I’ve always been a loner and a homebody, so only after being in the house for an extended period of time will make me crazy. Really, large groups of people make me more crazy than anything else. So, after a bit of crying and feeling pathetic we came up with a compromise. We decided to go to a local game place this afternoon with one of our roommates.
It was kinda nice because girls play free there from Mon-Thurs. So, I got to try out some different games than what I usually play at home. I got to play Cooking Mama on the Wii and Portal on a computer. Cooking Mama was really easy and cute too! Portal crashed in the middle of my game, so I kinda gave up. There is also a sort of laser tag there. They describe it as an inside infrared combat sport. Rob played it and was the first to die. He says it was because he was on a newbie team and there was friendly fire on. If I was going to play the laser tag, I’d want to play with a group of our friends, so that everyone is on an even level.
Well, I fixed my grandpa’s computer yesterday. I’m not sure what exactly was wrong with it, but reinstalling a program fixed it. The cooling fan on my computer is starting to make weird noises. I recently re-arranged my desk and I don’t think the ventilation is as good as it used to be. Also, my electric toothbrush was acting broken until today when Rob whacked it against the sink and it started to work again. Going home tomorrow. Hopefully things will be ok there. It’s usually stressful when I go home…
So today kinda sucked. I didn’t sleep at all last night, so we didn’t go to the theme park. Someone called me in the middle of the night (12:30 to be exact) and I didn’t know the number so I didn’t answer. That phone call however woke me up so that I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night. I spent the rest of the day feeling like crap because it was my fault we couldn’t go out. I just felt so sorry for everything…. Rob keeps trying to cheer me up, and he’s being a great boyfriend, but I just can’t seem to cheer up. The only one that can make me happy is me, and I kinda hate myself right now.
So, here’s hoping tomorrow goes better. Rob found a job offer online that I may apply for. It’s for photo cleaning and editing, something I can do. I’m whizzbang at Photoshop. I’m not familiar with some of the terms they used however. I’m going to try throwing together some pieces for my portfolio.
I just feel like crap right now. I can’t find a job that a) is hiring or b) I think I’m qualified for. I’m probably qualified for a lot of these jobs, but I don’t want to misrepresent myself and I tend to understate my own abilities. It’s like “Sure I’ve been working in Photoshop for 7+ years, but I’m not sure what they’re looking for or if I can actually do it.”
The past few days I’ve felt really weird. Like my body is all out of whack and I don’t know why. Usually my body temperature runs really low, my hands and feet are always like icicles. But lately I’ve been running really hot. Like really hot. I’m sleeping under a sheet when I usually sleep under a huge comforter all bundled up warm. I feel so hot that I need to drink cold water and eat cold foods to feel better. Also I’ve been constantly hungry. I usually eat a lot, but usually sitting and eating a snack or a sandwich will make me full. I find myself constantly snacking or searching for food. Right now I’m debating whether to have some snacks or a glass of cold water. The only thing I can think of is that I have been doing absolutely nothing the past few days, so my inactivity is affecting my body. Cause going places and doing stuff costs money and I don’t have a job. So, I’ll just sit at home and make stuff for MetroCon. 
The weather isn’t helping either, it’s like 80 outside! We’ve had the AC on all week. I had really hoped that we would have a nice mild winter and we could avoid using the AC/heater as much as possible. The heater was only used once the entire winter. There is supposed to be a cold front coming through, but it will only get down to 70! Ugh! Rob and I plan to do a photoshoot this weekend at Leu Gardens again, so hopefully the weather will be nice and mild. I have to figure out what to wear! I’m going to wear gothic lolita, but what outfit? Hmm…
I’m going to go find something to eat now. I think we have some leftover dinner…
PS: I finally got a hold of Jo Anns and they won’t be able to hire me for another few weeks, or until they fire some seasonal workers. WHY DID I HAVE TO GRADUATE IN A RECESSION!!!????? God damnit! 
